Tag: doctor

Dec 12

Two Doctors

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Nancy. “She’s incredibly mixed up,” said one doctor. “She does everything absolutely backwards. Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of morphine every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He damn near died on …

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Apr 21

Medication

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed To me has to be taken for the rest of my life?” “Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just …

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Sep 02

A Couple Are Rushing Into The Hospital

A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father. They agree to it and are led into a room where they get hooked up to the machine. …

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Aug 19

Honey , What Did The Doctor Say ?

A middle aged man goes into the doctor’s office for a check-up with a litany of complaints. The doctor speaks to the man’s wife alone and says, “There is nothing the matter with your husband. If you make a couple of meals for him a day, let him watch his sports. Do not complain at …

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Aug 05

Vacation

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts …

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Jun 19

A Couple In There Nineties

A couple in their nineties are BOTH having problems remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they’re physically in good condition for their age, but if they are having trouble remembering they might want to start writing things down to help them. Later that night …

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May 03

Married Couple

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor …

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Mar 21

Sister , Got Milk

There once was a 94-year-old nun in the 1890’s whose worn-out body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax her. However, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she huffily declined. But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved milk. So she instructed …

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Mar 09

Yesterday , I Went To The Doctor

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I’d gained some weight, and I didn’t feel so hot. My doctor said eating right doesn’t have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He said just think in colors. Fill your plate …

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Nov 21

Talking Baby

A baby was born with the ability to talk. The first thing he said when he was born was, “Are you my mom?” “Why, yes!” his mother said. “I am!” “Well,” the baby said, “I wanted to thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born.” Then he looks around the …

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