Tag: dog

Sep 01

Smart Dog

A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door. “An’ wot’s this then?” he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher’s shins. “You dumb dog.” As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices …

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Apr 03

College

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the waythrough the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money hisparents gave him. Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. “Dad,” he says, “you won’tbelieve the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why,they actually have a …

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Feb 15

A Man Wakes Up One Morning

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for “Bear Removers.” He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s …

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Oct 17

Talking Dog

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the first semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents had given him for school. Then he gets an idea. He calls his Redneck father. “Dad,” he says, “you won’t believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, …

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May 30

Taking Dog For Sale

This guy sees a sign in front of a house “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there.”You talk?” he asks.”Yep,” the mutt replies.”So, what’s your story?”The mutt looks up …

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May 16

Service For Your Dog

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he for a long time. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying “Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?” Father Patrick told the farmer “No, we …

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Feb 20

Dog Track

A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. “I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name ‘Marylou’ written on it,” she said, furious. “You had better have an explanation.” “Calm down, honey,” the man replied. …

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Feb 01

Two Irish Nuns

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to theother, “I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs.” “Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we mightas well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog …

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Nov 25

Black Magic

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. “When I die I will dig my way up and out …

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Sep 02

A Cowboy

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “If I …

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