Tag: door

Sep 01

Smart Dog

A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door. “An’ wot’s this then?” he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher’s shins. “You dumb dog.” As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices …

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346 total views, 2 views today

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Mar 23

Six Guys Were Playing Poker

Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up. Roberts looks around and asks, “Now, who is going to tell the wife?” They draw straws. Rippington, who …

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Jan 27

Authorized Personnel Only

A homeless man, down on his luck, went into a Catholic church that was known for its rather “uppity” social reputation. Spotting the man’s dirty clothes, the ushers stopped him outside the church door and asked if he needed help. The man told them, “I was praying and the Lord told me to come to …

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Jul 30

Three Ladies

Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.” The second lady chimed in with, “Yes, sometimes I …

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1,524 total views, 2 views today

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Dec 16

Came In My Pants

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party… Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on. “What the hell are you supposed to be?” asked the host. …

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1,414 total views, no views today

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Oct 30

The Hotel Lobby

A man, his wife, and his son from waaaay out in the mountains go to the “big city” to a major hotel. When they get into the lobby, they are directed to the front desk to check in. While the wife is takin’ care of “the paper work,” the man is looking all around at …

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3,544 total views, no views today

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Aug 30

Wrong Wish

A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another fellow and immediately notices that the guy has a very large disposable Bic cigarette lighter. The first guy says: “Wow, cool lighter. Where did you get it?” The second guy replies: “A genie from a bottle granted me one wish.” “Great, can I try …

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2,334 total views, 1 views today

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Aug 28

Being Alone

A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said it is quite cold out here can I come in? the man …

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1,415 total views, no views today

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Jul 20

Six Guys Playing Poker

Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up. Roberts looks around and asks, “Now, who is going to tell the wife?” They draw straws. Rippington, who …

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3,236 total views, no views today

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Jul 01

A guy was running for an elevator

A guy was running for an elevator and he stuck his hand in to stop the doors, and the doors opened. Inside stood a blonde. He said, “Good morning, which floor are you going to?” She responded, “3rd floor.” He pushed the 3rd floor button, plus the 5th floor for himself. As the elevator started …

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7,075 total views, 1 views today

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