Tag: drinks

Oct 24

A Lawyer Walks Into A Bar

A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is. “Well,” said the drunk, “it looks like plastic and feels like rubber.” “Let me …

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Apr 01

A Man Is Dinning In A Restaurant

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively …

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Jan 05

A Guy Is Sitting In Bar

A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He’s slamming tequila left and right. He grabs one, drinks it, goes over to a window and jumps out. The guy who was sitting next to him couldn’t believe that the guy had just done that. He was more surprised …

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Nov 20

Whiskey

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this the wife wants him to quit, so she gets 2 shot glasses, filling 1 with water the other with whiskey. She gets him to the table with the glasses and has his bait box there too. She says “I want …

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May 26

A Man Got Really Drunk

A man got really drunk one night in his local pub. The barman refused to serve him any more alcohol and told him he should be heading home. The man thought this was a good idea so he stood up to leave but fell over straight away. He tried to stand up again but only …

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Sep 06

Professor Of Chemistry

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. “Now, class, closely observe the worms,” said the professor while putting a worm into the water. The worm in …

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1,780 total views, 1 views today

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Aug 30

Wrong Wish

A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another fellow and immediately notices that the guy has a very large disposable Bic cigarette lighter. The first guy says: “Wow, cool lighter. Where did you get it?” The second guy replies: “A genie from a bottle granted me one wish.” “Great, can I try …

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2,494 total views, no views today

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Jun 05

Irish Tradition

Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the corner of the room, drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, he went back to the bar and ordered three more. The barman says, “You know a pint goes flat soon …

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1,439 total views, 5 views today

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May 26

Pirate in a Bar

A man was sitting at a bar when he noticed a pirate walk in the front door. The pirate had a peg leg, a hook for one hand, and a patch over one eye. Feeling sorry for the pirate, the man said, “Come over here friend. You look like you’ve had a hard life and …

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2,451 total views, 4 views today

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May 22

Drunken Argument

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night. Look at that moon!” The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. “You are wrong. That’s not the moon; that’s the sun!” Both continued arguing for awhile when they came upon another drunk walking along. So they stopped …

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3,056 total views, 3 views today

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