Tag Archive: Elderly

Jun 27

Counting The Money

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week! The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinct ivepink envelope on the plate. This went on for …

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Mar 16

Scripture

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening church service when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the burglar red-handed, and yelled, “Stop! Acts 2:38 (meaning, repent and be baptized…)!” The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman then calmly called the police and explained what she had …

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625 total views, 1 views today

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Dec 19

Elderly Couple On Vacation

An elderly couple is vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into their room and says to his wife, “Notice anything different, Bessie?” Bessie looks him over. “Nope.” Sam says excitedly, “Come on, …

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581 total views, 2 views today

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Jul 22

Two Elderly Gentlemen

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a palm tree when one turns to the other and says… “Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’ re about my age, how do you feel?” Slim says, “I feel just like …

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1,030 total views, 2 views today

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May 20

Two Elderly Men Were Having Conversation

Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, “Yessir, I did it three times last night with a 30 year old!” Leon replies, “You’re kidding! I can’t even manage to do it once! What’s your secret?” To which Elmer said, “Well, the secret is to eat lots of whole-wheat bread. I’m …

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1,315 total views, 3 views today

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Mar 21

Sister , Got Milk

There once was a 94-year-old nun in the 1890’s whose worn-out body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax her. However, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she huffily declined. But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved milk. So she instructed …

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1,540 total views, 1 views today

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Feb 28

Two Elderly Residents

Two elderly residents, one male and one female, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening. The old man looked over and said to the old lady, “I know just what you’re wanting, and for $5 I’ll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair.” The old lady …

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1,912 total views, 2 views today

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Jan 10

Elderly Mother

A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her,hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathed her,fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started …

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2,915 total views, 1 views today

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Dec 19

An Elderly Couple On Vacation

An elderly couple is vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into their room and says to his wife, “Notice anything different, Bessie?” Bessie looks him over. “Nope.” Sam says excitedly, “Come on, …

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2,030 total views, 2 views today

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Nov 29

An Elderly Lady Phoned Her Telephone Company

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called — and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile …

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3,068 total views, 1 views today

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