Tag: father

Jan 05

Irish Girl

An Irish Girl comes back home for New Year’s Eve. Her father asked, “Where have you been all this time? Why did you not write to us, not even a line? Why didn’t you call?” The girl crying replied, “Dad, I became a prostitute.” “Whaaa!!? Out of here you shameless harlot! You’re a disgrace to …

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Dec 21

Father & Son

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an green envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: …

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Apr 03

College

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the waythrough the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money hisparents gave him. Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. “Dad,” he says, “you won’tbelieve the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why,they actually have a …

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Mar 14

I Have A Question

A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float? The father replied, “Don’t rightly know son.” A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, “How do fish …

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Dec 23

100% Polar Bear

One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear and his son polar bear were sitting in the snow. The son polar bear turned to his father and asked, “Dad, am I 100% polar bear?” “Of course, son, you’re 100% polar bear.” A few minutes pass, and the son polar bear turns to his father …

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Oct 17

Talking Dog

A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the first semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents had given him for school. Then he gets an idea. He calls his Redneck father. “Dad,” he says, “you won’t believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, …

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Oct 07

Insults

A man and his wife, who was 8 months pregnant, were doing some holiday shopping in crowded mall. They had been trading humorous insults for most of the evening, and the man decided that he was going to really get her. He announced in a loud voice, “If you don’t stop insulting me, I’m not …

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Jun 26

12 Pack

A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ”Well, you see that 3-pack? That’s for when you’re in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for …

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May 16

Service For Your Dog

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he for a long time. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying “Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?” Father Patrick told the farmer “No, we …

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Nov 27

Eddie In Dallas Calls His Son

Eddie in Dallas calls his son in New York just before Thanksgiving and tells him, “I’m sorry to tell you but your mother and I are getting a divorce. I just cannot tolerate any more of her constant complaining. We can’t stand the sight of each other any more. I’m telling you first, Jerry, because …

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