Tag: guy

Dec 12

Two Doctors

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Nancy. “She’s incredibly mixed up,” said one doctor. “She does everything absolutely backwards. Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of morphine every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He damn near died on …

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Sep 21

One Wish

A guy walking along the beach finds a bottle and picks it up. A genie pops out and says, “Thanks for letting me out. For your kindness I will grant you one wish.” The guys says, “I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I can’t because I’m afraid to fly and ships make me …

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Aug 15

A Young Guy Goes To The Job Center

A young guy goes to the Job Center in Charleston, West Virginia, and sees a flyer advertising for a Gynecologist’s Assistant. Interested, he wants to learn more. “Can you give me some more details?” he asks the clerk. The clerk pulls up a file and says, “The job entails getting ladies ready for the gynecologist. …

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Aug 11

Policeman

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, “Is there a problem, Officer?” “No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do …

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Jun 09

My Wife Asked To Buy Vegetables

My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market.I went and looked around and couldn’t find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, “Thesevegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with anypoisonous chemicals?” “The produce guy looked at me and said, “No. You’ll have todo that yourself.” …

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May 18

The Engineer

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer-you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the Gates of Hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell, and starts designing and building …

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May 12

Cute Blonde

A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move. “You know,” he says,”I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let’s talk.” The blonde, who had just opened her book, …

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May 01

Shy Guy In Bar

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” To which she responds by yelling, at the top …

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Dec 17

Your Car In Heaven

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, “I know that you guys are forgiven because you’re here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big, what …

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Aug 12

Golf Story

A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the offer and heads off for a weekend of fun in the sun. He arrives and plays a round of golf. It cost him a buck. When he goes for dinner that evening, it costs …

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