Tag: man

Apr 21

A Drunk Man

A drunk man who smelled like booze sat down on a bench next to a priest.The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned …

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94 total views, 2 views today

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Dec 05

Railroad

A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He’d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn’t know what it was. Predictably, he’s hit and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle, to the side of …

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700 total views, 2 views today

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Oct 24

A Lawyer Walks Into A Bar

A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is. “Well,” said the drunk, “it looks like plastic and feels like rubber.” “Let me …

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Jun 20

The Dead Horse

A young man named Donald bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Donald’s house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.” Donald replied, “Well, then just give me my money …

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May 04

The Store

It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store’s opening time, in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be …

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613 total views, no views today

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Apr 17

Wake – Up- Call

A man and his wife were having some problems and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he’d need his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. for an early flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of …

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755 total views, no views today

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Apr 01

A Man Is Dinning In A Restaurant

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively …

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572 total views, no views today

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Mar 19

Black Eyes

A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, “I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched …

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935 total views, no views today

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Mar 12

I Want This Done Right

  A man with a piece of paper in his hand comes into an office where another man is sitting next to a shredding machine. “Do you know how to operate this thing?” he asks. “I have an important paper here and I want to make sure this is done right.” “Sure,” the other man …

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650 total views, no views today

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Feb 15

A Man Wakes Up One Morning

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an ad for “Bear Removers.” He calls the number, and the bear remover says he’ll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s …

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960 total views, 2 views today

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