Tag: old man

The Mirror

An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldomsaw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy anything. “Well, my wife ain’t home, she’s gone down to the crick to wash clothes, but lemme see …

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Cotton Candy

So this old man is walking down the street in Brooklyn. He sees a young boy sitting on the street in front of a candy shop, shoving sweets in his mouth as fast as possible. The man walks up to the boy and says “You know son, it’s really not healthy to eat all that …

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Bad Weather

This old man went to a whorehouse and said to the manager that he wanted something different. So the manager sent him up to room “69”. He got in there and this woman named Hurricane Sally stripped him down and began working wonders. Suddenly she pissed on his stomach, he asked, “What the hell was …

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Chinese Laundry

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, “Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry.” “Hans Olaffsen?”, he muses. “How the heck does that fit in here?” So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind …

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A Couple In There Nineties

A couple in their nineties are BOTH having problems remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they’re physically in good condition for their age, but if they are having trouble remembering they might want to start writing things down to help them. Later that night …

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Two Elderly Men Were Having Conversation

Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, “Yessir, I did it three times last night with a 30 year old!” Leon replies, “You’re kidding! I can’t even manage to do it once! What’s your secret?” To which Elmer said, “Well, the secret is to eat lots of whole-wheat bread. I’m …

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An Old Man lived Alone In Idaho

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Bubba: I am feeling pretty bad because it looks …

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Two Elderly Residents

Two elderly residents, one male and one female, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening. The old man looked over and said to the old lady, “I know just what you’re wanting, and for $5 I’ll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair.” The old lady …

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The Lucky Old Man

An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying. “Well,” says the old fellow, “I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we make love. In the afternoon she …

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The Worst Age

“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old. “You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!” “Ah, that’s nothin’,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you can’t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet …

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