Tag: patient

Dec 12

Two Doctors

Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Nancy. “She’s incredibly mixed up,” said one doctor. “She does everything absolutely backwards. Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of morphine every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He damn near died on …

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Sep 02

A Couple Are Rushing Into The Hospital

A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father. They agree to it and are led into a room where they get hooked up to the machine. …

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Aug 03

A Dentist

A dentist ran out of anaesthetic just before the last extraction for the day was scheduled. He gave the nurse a very large needle, instructing her to jab it hard into the patient’s butt when the signal was given, so it would take his attention away from the tooth extraction. It all happened in an …

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Aug 23

Gastroenterologist

A gastroenterologist claims these are actual comments made by his patientsmade while he was performing colonoscopies: “Take it easy, Doc, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before.” “Find Amelia Earhart yet?” “Can you hear me NOW?” “Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!” “Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my …

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Nov 06

A Trip To The Gynecologist

A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves. The patient replies with a simple “No.” The doctor says, “There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into …

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